


Like a Falling Star

by wolfjjong



Category: SHINee
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-08-13 18:29:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7981750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfjjong/pseuds/wolfjjong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The moment lingers and Jonghyun rubs the back of his neck self-consciously. He feels so exposed in the company of the older vampires. He knows he’s an amusement to them. But then again, these are the vamps that always came to check on him when he would get stuck in one of his slumps, the ones who watched over him when Kibum was away, brought him food and paid his bills for him when he’s forgotten to do so himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like a Falling Star

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: alcohol consumption and mentions of food. (Also consistently inconsistent vampires /rules what rules?/)
> 
> P.S.: Dedicated to my dearest panky! Happy Belated Birthday once again, sweetheart! I'm sorry this isn't sunbum or onjongkey but it's the first thing I've written in three years so yay? XD ILU!! <333

Jonghyun more feels than sees that someone is in the room with him but he somehow doesn’t have it in him to move just yet. He didn’t have it in him for a few weeks now. He hears that someone take a deep breath that leaves their lungs in a long exasperated sigh.

“Ew. It stinks in here. _You_ stink, Jjong. How long has it been since you’ve showered?” a familiar voice says and is followed by what sounds like a foot kicking into a pile of books. Jongyhun winces at that but otherwise does not move.

A mix of a groan and a hum leaves his lips as he listens to more thuds of his belongings hitting the floor, and he realizes only now how parched his throat is and how chapped his lips are. Has he really been lying here for so long? Does he care? He puts an arm across his face in an attempt to let the world and his guest know that he doesn’t wish for any visits right now. Not now nor ever, he thinks grudgingly.

“Come on, Jjong,” the voice says, unabashed. “You’ve made a dirt-hole out of this place. You don’t have to live up to that sparkly creature of the night living in a vault cliché. Why don’t you let some sunshine in?”

With that, Jonghyun hears the telling sound of heavy velvet drapes being pulled apart and feels sudden warmth spreading across his skin as it tickles the hand covering his face.

He full on groans now and scrunches his eyes shut even tighter than before. The onslaught of his senses would be too much if a shadow of the intruder didn’t block the harsh sun.

“Jonghyun, you do realize I am not leaving your flat until you have at least washed yourself? And how long has it been since you’ve fed yourself anyway?” the voice says and sounds suddenly very close and softer around the edges, exasperation tinged with the slightest tint of worry. The _guest_ is now straddling Jonghyun’s waist and Jonghyun huffs because if this isn’t the most annoying visit he’s had in months.

“Ugh gross,” they squeak then, pulling away from his face. “Even your breath stinks. Jjong, come on let’s go,” they pull Jonghyun’s hand away from his face and pull him to sitting position as they leave his waist to stand up. They tug at his arm softly. “Brush those fangs of yours. Take a bubble bath, light a candle, make yourself comfortable and _for fuck’s sake_ look at me when I am talking to you!”

 

…

 

The thing with being a vampire is that the time passes differently. That is a very simple fact that brings along many not so simple technicalities to deal with in one’s life. Look at Jonghyun and Kibum.

Five years ago Kibum has set on a journey, for the first time in hundreds of years, finally free of his despot of a Mister. “I just want to see the world,” he had said with a shine in his eyes and no-one could argue with that. Not even Jonghyun. After the death of his Mister, he had all the reasons to mourn for all the years lost and all the rights to want to be free, if only for a while. Kibum was a very old vampire.

On the contrary, Jonghyun has been turned only recently, 90’s kid with all its perks. He still had that human notion of time within himself. So there was no wonder that five years felt like an eternity to him. And he knows he has been acting a little over the top, lately. Or rather, hitting the bottom, really. The Slump surprised him as much as it surprised his vampmates.

Jonghyun sighs as he eases himself into the hot water and tries to push away some of the heavy feelings that have been crushing his chest for weeks. The pleasant coconut cherry scent of the bubble foam does help a little. What helps more, although he is reluctant to admit it just yet, is the rustling sounds coming from his kitchen where Kibum is fixing them something to eat. It’s not like they need to eat, but the feeling of familiarity – the seemingly normal and mundane things – it is somehow calming his upset mind and leaves no space for thoughts of loneliness and eternity.

He sits in the bathtub with his eyes closed and listens as Kibum hums to himself in the other room. When all of the cherry foam disappears and the water turns too cold for him to stand, he deems it the end of his bath. He shivers and rushes from the lukewarm water onto the cold tiles, almost instantly slipping into his bathrobe so as to save at least some remnants of the heat the hot bath has left on his pale skin. If he were alive, goose bumps would break out on him, alas. So he just shivers and slips his feet into thick cotton socks, toes curling into the plush carpet in the hallway as he walks up to Kibum soundlessly.

“Feeling better?” Kibum asks and turns to give him a once over.

Jonghyun shrugs and closes the distance between them and wraps his arms around Kibum’s middle. So what, that he is crumpling the fabric on the back of Kibum’s expensive shirt.

“I’ve missed you,” he mumbles into the crook of his neck and stays like that for a while, breathing in the mix of his bubble bath and Kibum’s scent, something so familiar he would not forget it in thousand years. His hair is dark and cut short, shorter than Jonghyun has ever seen on him and he touches it. It feels as nice as it looks.

“I know,” Kibum sighs, burrowing his fingers into the fabric of Jonghyun’s bathrobe.

Jonghyun knows too. His heart hurts a little in a way it shouldn’t, having long since stopped beating. It’s hard but not as hard as he had feared. Five years might be a long time, but then again maybe not when they have forever.

Forever is a complicated concept, however. He has been too caught up in all things complicated lately. And for a change, he wants to focus on the simpler things, happier things. He wants to ask Kibum about his journey, wants to ask if the other has found the answers he was looking for. But that also has time. They have plans for now after all.

“I spoke with Jinki,” Kibum breathes into his wet hair, as if reading his thoughts, still not letting go of him. “He wants us to pick up Minho on the way.”

Jonghyun hums in acknowledgement, still not trusting his own voice to not betray him.

“We will pick him up in Incheon…and we could probably spend the night over there, if you want?” Kibum continues and Jonghyun is grateful. Focusing on simpler things, practical things – as always, Kibum just knows.

“Sounds good,” Jonghyun says in the end, nosing Kibum’s neck before pulling away to finally look at him properly. “You got tanner,” he changes the subject and lets go of the other in order to sit by the table, Kibum following suit.

“You got smaller,” the older vamp counters in a way only he can. He knows very well how Jonghyun has been coping the past few months. And despite his age, he still remembers very well what a Slump can do to a young vamp.

Jonghyun ignores the remark anyway and asks instead where Kibum has been during all the time, anyway.

“By the sea, mainly,” he says with a nostalgic little smile, probably still feeling the salty taste of waves on his lips. “Hawaii first and then I went to Europe. Sicily. I took up water-skiing again, became an instructor for a while. On Hawaii. On Sicily, I was working in gastronomy.”

“Of course,” Jonghyun utters, as he helps himself a small spoonful of tomato soup.

 

…

 

By the time the meal is finished, dishes clean and luggage packed it’s already evening. The sun is low on the horizon, the buildings are casting long shadows on Jonghyun’s street and the air is a little too chilly for this time of the year. Kibum minds this a little more than Jonghyun, who wears seven layers of clothes all year long.

“Ah, I hate cold summer,” the older vamp says ruefully, as he puts last of their bags into the trunk.

“I hate summer,” Jonghyun retorts dryly but his eyes crinkle playfully.

Kibum chuckles and elbows him softly, “I know you do, boo.”

At first, Jonghyun smiles but then it falters and suddenly it’s too small and too sad to be a real smile. He feels guilty for being unable to hide his true feelings from the other. He just missed him so badly and he feels immensely selfish for reasons he cannot admit. Not to himself, not to Kibum, not to anyone. Not now.

He swallows the lump that has formed in his throat and sighs. Something he’s been doing quite a lot lately.

“Let’s go. If we want to reach Minho before midnight, we need to hurry,” he says and holds the passenger’s door open for Kibum.

The ride out of the city is as lengthy, as they feared, what with the rush hour traffic and mild rain that started to fall at one of the stoplights. Jonghyun fiddles with the radio while waiting for the green, shuffling through his long-rides playlist until he gets to the rainy part and sure enough, Brown Eyed Soul’s Rainy starts to play.

“Really, Jjong?” Kibum says, amusement evident in his voice.

Jonghyun shrugs, eyes trained on the road in front of them.

“You want me to drive or what?” he says, not so amused. “The driver picks the music.”

Kibum chuckles and places gentle hand on the other’s thigh. “Whatever you want, honey,” he sing-songs.

Jonghyun shivers at the touch but doesn’t say anything. Deep down he hopes the hand would stay in its place at least until the next stoplight. He isn’t that lucky.

 

…

 

The road to Incheon normally takes about an hour and a half but with the relentless traffic and rain it’s indeed close to midnight when they finally get to Minho’s neighbourhood full of tall building and tall trees, nice place for a family with kids, little low-end for a vampire.

When he finally stops the car in front of the right house, Jonghyun rolls his shoulders to relieve some of the painful knots in his back and really, you’d think vamps would be more resilient. Before he can even take off the seat-belt, there’s a hand on him again, squeezing his arm softly.

“Hey, let’s crash for the night,” Kibum whispers and it ignites something in Jonghyun, a sense of dread, a feeling of Déja-vu. His heart does this ache-y thing again and he wants to touch Kibum too, but his hands are frozen on the steering wheel to the point they cramp. So he just looks at him; a long, unblinking gaze which Kibum holds and returns.

“Yeah, let’s crash,” he whispers back although he’s not sure why whisper. It’s not like there is someone to hear them neither they are spilling the secrets… yet.

He’s way too tired for someone already dead and Minho’s couch seems like the best place on Earth right now. It’s so inviting and so is the tall vamp’s hug as he ushers them inside and helps them with their bags, just the necessities for the night.

Lots of “long time no sees” and “I missed yous” are exchanged and it feels homey and warm and Jonghyun almost, _almost_ , feels the weight lifted off his shoulders. For dinner they drink a bit of the blood packs Minho has kept cold for them and before long they are huddled on the couch. The dim light of the lamp is casting shadows on Kibum’s face and making his eyes sparkle and Jonghyun is mesmerized.

“Do you want to set up the sofa or are you okay with single bed?” Minho asks, hand running through his dark locks sheepishly. He’s too excited about their upcoming journey and sleep seems like a waste of time to him. But he also sees the dark circles under Jonghyun’s eyes and the stiffness in Kibum’s smile. They need rest before they go all the way to Jeju.

“Single is fine,” Kibum says at the same time as Jonghyun says “Set up, please.”

It’s Kibum who does not budge. And so Jonghyun ends up being spooned by the older vamp, wrapped in his arms and his scent, and if he were alive, his heart would be pounding in his chest. But he’s not. So he just sighs heavily and places his hand where Kibum is rubbing his tummy. It feels so right and so natural… yet, something is missing and it’s breaking his dead heart and it seems that he won’t be able to run away from his feelings anymore. Not on this journey.

 

…

 

_It’s raining so hard he cannot see more than an arm’s distance in front of him and his legs keep slipping on the muddy ground. He’s crying too, but it’s hard to tell with all the rain washing his face. Something is chasing him but he’s been running for such a long time he doesn’t remember what from. That is until he feels a sharp pain in his chest, one that stops him dead in his tracks and makes him double over. He falls to his knees and looks down on the tip of a bow that is piercing through him. Blood is flowing out of the wound, taking his life away too. He lifts his head to look his murderer in the eye but there’s only darkness in front of him and suddenly the ground under him opens up and swallows him and his body falls, his soul soars and it’s painful and he screams._

 

…

 

Screaming, he wakes up. Shivering, shaken up by memories that he thought he’d lost when he crossed the bridge, and terrors that haunted him even in his life before death.

There are hands on him instantly, holding him tightly, and Kibum’s voice is whispering soft assurements into his ear. “It was only a dream. I’m here, Jonghyun, I’m not going anywhere. I’m here.”

It’s all lies but it helps. He’s clinging to the other vamp as he calms down. The other is stroking his hair and slowly drawing patterns on his back and once again, Jonghyun feels the same mix of Déja-vu and heart-break washing over him. It’s all too familiar, easy and right. Except that it’s not. Kibum loves him dearly, _as a brother_ , and Jonghyun is tainting that pure love with his selfish feelings of longing.

These five years felt as if someone had ripped his heart away and took it with themselves, to Hawaii, to Sicily. And although Kibum has returned, he still held that dead heart captive in his hands.

Jonghyun is flustered at exposing himself so much in front of his friend, and he is grateful the other is so suave about it. He had seen it all, anyway. Five hundred years and then some do that to a vamp. A thought about how many people must have fallen for him in all those years crosses Jonghyun’s mind but he wills it away before it can grow too large. It stings anyway.

“Thanks,” he whispers when he finds his voice again, not letting go of the older vamp just yet.

“Anytime,” Kibum whispers back and kisses his temple in one short cold brush of lips.

Somehow, Jonghyun cannot wait to be at Jinki’s finally, the more the merrier, the more distractions and less painful silly thoughts.

 

…

 

The morning has him waking up late and last, as usual. But at least yesterday’s slump slash nightmare seems distant now in the homey kitchen of Minho’s, with the sun rays peeking through the blinds. He doesn’t even mind the sun as much as he did yesterday.

He knows both – Kibum and Minho – are shooting him sideway glances when they think he doesn’t see. But as long as they don’t bring it up, he won’t either. So he drinks his coffee and another blood pack and listens to the other two vamps banter over the shopping list.

“We are going _stargazing_ , Minho. We don’t _need_ fireworks,” Kibum says and he would sound rational enough if Minho’s next words didn’t throw him right under the bus.

“Well, yeah, you won’t get to see a thing anyway when you’re going to get smashed with that tomato-vodka diet of yours,” the tall vamp says and bares his fangs in a snicker at Kibum’s offended face. “Really, one would think ten litres of vodka is quite pushing it.”

Involuntarily, Jonghyun giggles at that but when Kibum shoots him a pointed stare, he goes to brush his teeth, this time without Kibum telling him to.

Bad dreams forgotten and shy excitement about the weekend finally settling in, the rest of preparations are a quick affair. Minho has been packed up and ready since the day before yesterday. He easily navigates them to the nearest supermarket for some of those last minute supplies before they leave the city. Jinki’s summer house is in a secluded place and they want to be well prepared for the weekend, fireworks and all.

Once in the supermarket, no-one says a thing when Kibum fills his shopping cart exclusively with vodka and tomato juice. Minho just adds few bags of black pepper because he knows Kibum likes his drinks spicy.

Jonghyun smiles a little secret smile at that.

He remembers when he first met those two. It’s like it was yesterday and nothing had changed since then at all. They were actually the ones who found him back then, lost in the rear streets of Dongdaemun. He was, mere days after his turning, dying of hunger and fear; dirty, feral vampire or crack addict, you couldn’t tell. They took him in, washed him, fed him and argued who would explain everything to him about the vampire misconceptions – “No, you don’t have to kill people,” “Yes, you still have to eat and sleep to maintain your body,” “No, sun will not kill you”. They were so in sync he thought of them as a couple back then, but that was just another misconception, not the last one, to be cleared.

“Hey Jonghyunnie, you want anything?”

Jonghyun blinks up at Minho suddenly standing in front of him. Did he get too lost in thoughts?

“Did you get lost in thoughts?” Minho asks, large eyes trained on Jonghyun.

“Nah,” Jonghyun utters and smells the candle that he’s forgotten he was holding in his hand. It’s nice enough – _vanilla_ , he would take vanilla any day – so he puts it into the cart and picks up one more. Cinnamon, also nice, he decides. He will need some bubble bath too, he thinks – coconut, perhaps – as he chooses to focus on finding more scents he likes instead of his own raging thoughts, or Minho worrying about him. Or Kibum.

Speaking of Kibum—

—Jonghyun nearly drops the cherry glitter bath bomb he’s holding when that certain someone honest to god glomps him.

“What the hell, Kibum,” Jonghyun gasps.

“They have sausages on sale,” Kibum sings and laughs at the way Jonghyun perks up.

“Sausages?” he asks carefully.

Kibum nods, brushing his cheek against Jonghyun’s as he does so, ignoring the pointed stares of the strangers they have drawn by now, just how Jonghyun ignores Minho’s rude chuckle and even ruder raise of an eyebrow.

“I love sausages, okay,” he grumbles in Minho’s direction and lets Kibum guide him away from all the stares to the next aisle. He can’t see it, but he suspects that Minho’s second brow has joined the first one high on his forehead.

 

…

 

“He still didn’t grow up out of all _these_ _bands_?” Kibum asks and makes a face when he skips the fiftieth song on Jonghyun’s playlist and is still not satisfied.

“Pavement are great group, excuse you,” Jonghyun says from the back seat where he’s huddled in a blanket, about to take the last nap before they make it to the ferry taking them to Jeju.

“I don’t know, Bummie, if we were to listen to _your_ music, it would be _pansori_ , wouldn’t it?” Minho says in that nonchalant way he always does whenever he can take a jab at someone, a devilkin in disguise.

“ _Excuse you_ ,” Kibum snaps back and glares back over his shoulder where Jonghyun laughs in his seat. “Is this how you treat your hyung, Minho? There is nothing bad about traditional Korean music.”

“Of course not,”” Minho replies calmly, and Jonghyun has to admire him because the laughter in his voice is really only barely audible.

He burrows deeper in his seat, nestles himself in his blanket and rests his head against the window. It’s wet with rain and his breath catches on it in little patches of fog. Cold but not cold, rainy but not rainy, hands down his favourite kind of weather. The moment is nearly perfect, he thinks and closes his eyes. Summer child, winter version is playing and it makes him think of Kibum, the summer child. He has it so bad for him, there’s no denying to that. Taemin is going to sense it on him the first second they appear at Jinki’s, he already knows. He also knows that vampires cannot blush but if they could, he would be the epitome of a vampire blush right now. All the hard feelings, the loneliness and sadness seem forgotten with the sound of Kibum’s laughter and the way he slaps Minho’s shoulder playfully.

And for the first time since Kibum came back, the word eternity makes it on his mind and, well, if eternity would equal Kibum, he might actually come to love it, too.

 

…

 

With all the stops to refresh themselves they have made on the way, it took them nearly whole day to get to the ferry. The rain has stopped and the sky clears itself just in time for the golden hour, letting them see the last ray of sunshine before the sun sets from the upper deck. It’s still two days to the weekend and there are only dozen of other passengers out there and they pay them no mind. The wind and the waves hum in the air and it’s so cold that even Kibum takes out his thinnest sweater, although he is still having his knees exposed in shorts.

When Minho leaves the two of them to go inside the ship to get a drink, silence falls between them. Jonghyun is nervous and searches for something, anything to occupy his mind with. He finds it in the waves below. He is fascinated by the dark waters licking on the side of the ship as his eyes trying to follow all the patterns the water makes. He doesn’t even remember when the last time he has left Seoul was. It’s not like vampires are territorial creatures, Kibum is more than good proof of that. But Jonghyun has always found too much comfort in the familiar things, smells, sounds, streets. In his human days, he loved to go out and explore the city and beyond, often disappearing from the sight of his family and friends for days. The unknown felt safer than what he had at home, then. The buzz of packed streets provided more comfort than the disappointed silence of his parents that greeted him every time he’s walked through the door. Of course, that is how he met his Mister, too, in one of Itaewon’s clubs. Jonghyun wasn’t even drinking that night. That was probably why the scent of his blood smelled so good to the tall stranger.

“I’ve met a guy on the road who reminded me lots of you,” Kibum’s voice comes over the white noise of white waves.

Jonghyun looks at him from the side and waits for the older vamp to continue.

“He was kind of lost. The more he craved something, the more he denied it to himself. He often said he didn’t deserve. I tried to prove him wrong but he was a stubborn one. He was a sweetheart, actually, and his blood smelled nice.” Kibum smiles and takes a deep breath as if he could smell the blood in the air over the wet saltiness.

Jonghyun swallows all his words and just watches Kibum’s profile and his skin glowing warmly in the last remnants of the mild evening sun. His eyes follow the curve of Kibum’s nose, the cute dip of his dimple, and the line of a delicate neck as if he’s trying to memorize it all. Well, he already has.

What is he supposed to say, anyway? He doesn’t know, but he does not move when Kibum’s fingers wrap around his wrist. It’s a cold touch and the wind is cold too and he shivers.

“You know, for _technically_ a dead body, you certainly shiver a lot,” Kibum chuckles, his thumb brushing against a spot where he would feel a pulse on human Jonghyun.

Before Jonghyun can retort with anything, large hand lands on his shoulder heavily, second one on Kibum’s.

“If you two love-birds think I enjoy third-wheeling for you, you’re wrong. Guess who’s going to Jeju, too?” he says and turns them all around, facing away from the body of water and on the body of—

“Sunyoung!” Kibum exclaims and rushes forward, giving the lady in front of him a bear hug. “Where’s the rest?” he asks and lets go of her so he can take a better look at her, just like he did with Jonghyun few days ago.

“Girls are already there, I got held back at work,” she says and smiles, her dimples reminding Jonghyun so much of Kibum’s. “Come here,” she says in his direction and hugs him tightly, giving him a loud peck on his cheek.

“Are you going to join us for the bonfire?” Minho asks her when she lets go of Jonghyun, not without ruffling his fair hair playfully.

Sunyoung hesitates. “I’ll have to ask them,” she says.

“If it’s about Amber, we’re good, really,” Kibum says and wraps an arm around her shoulder.

“Yeah?” Sunyoung looks up to him hopefully.

“Yeah. It’s been years, Sunyoungie. I’ve kept in touch with them while I was away, postcards and all. We’re fine. _Really_.”

“Okay, I am glad to hear that. I’ll still have to ask them,” she says and this time her lips curve in a teasing grin. “We wouldn’t want to disturb you, you know, guys.”

“Sure, sure,” Kibum giggles and, for reasons Jonghyun cannot fathom, he winks at him.

“But Minho, the door of our place is open to you anytime. Soojungie came too,” she adds innocently and Kibum laughs at Minho’s expression.

They part with the vamp girl with all the intentions to meet again while on Jeju, for the sake of reviving old ties. They know Jinki will be glad for it, too. He’s the one who always talks about how relationships with other vampires are so important, and he, being one of the oldest vampires in Korea, would know something about it.

 

…

 

“Okay, last few kilometers. You can pick the music,” Jonghyun says as he starts the engine once they all settle themselves back in the car.

“No way,” Minho gasps in mock surprise from the back seat.

“Really?” Kibum asks in exaggerated disbelief to which Minho cackles a dolphin laugh and kicks the back of Jonghyun’s seat.

“Pick fast or I’ll change my mind,” the youngest vamp says and pouts in the rear view mirror. He can’t see Minho there nor Minho can see him, but he can still pout at his friend for being so obnoxiously rude all the time.

Kibum pumps his fist in the air and starts fiddling with the mp3 player connected to the car’s front desk.

“Hurry,” Jonghyun tells him when he’s taking too long. “The way won’t be longer than this.”

“Okay,” Kibum sighs and wiggles contently in the seat.

Slow piano starts playing, it’s little sad but picks up more emotions soon as a beautiful voice joins. The melody is so familiar Jonghyun could play it if you woke him up at noon. He looks over at the other vampire sharply.

“What?” Kibum asks and for a moment, his eyes are so clueless and wide, Jonghyun would almost fall for his feigned innocence. But he doesn’t. There is no way Kibum could have chosen His song by accident.

He says nothing at all. Kibum can already read him like an open book as it is. Why make it any easier for him.

From his view, he can see Kibum peak over at Minho. He dares a brief peak too, loosening his grip on the steering wheel so as to not go awry. Minho is on his phone, probably chatting away with Sunyoung or some of the other girls.

Kibum stretches himself lazily, humming along to the slow song. One of his hands lands on the nape of Jonghyun’s neck easily, as if it belonged there. He plays with Jonghyun’s hair softly for a second, before retreating. Sighs deeply, he turns in his seat to look at Jonghyun from the side.

Jonghyun’s grip on the steering wheel tightens when he feels the look on himself and he forces himself to focus on the road. He is not looking at Kibum looking at him. No. Nope. Never.

“Can’t wait to be at Jinki’s finally,” Kibum says.

Minho hums in agreement, but otherwise doesn’t say anything, too caught up in his online conversation.

“Yeah,” Jonghyun says so lowly, it could be just a puff of breath. If he was breathing that is.

“I’m so happy he decided to keep up with the tradition.”

“Well, he wasn’t the one to break it—“

Jonghyun winces. If he could, he would bite off his tongue just then. So much for not giving himself away. Besides, it was _so_ uncalled for. He knows, and he regrets. He can sense Minho tensing up behind him and for once he’s grateful his friend is not being obnoxious about the overstepped boundaries.

Kibum is silent for a beat of a second. Offended, definitely. Jonghyun can sense it and he wouldn’t blame him if he lashed out. He _would_ kick his own ass, were he in Kibum’s shoes.

“Well,” the older vamp says then and it’s cold, colder than anything Jonghyun has felt in a long time. “If I knew I’d be coming home to you being such a dick, I wouldn’t bother coming back at all. Trust me.”

And trust, Jonghyun does. He feels tears prickle in his eyes. They’re probably those of a frustration as he’s frustrated with himself. Tired of himself and his constant fuck ups in both lives he got to live. Spiralling down in one enormous guilt-trip, he bites on his lip in futile attempt to stop the tears from overflowing.

“You are so young, Jonghyun,” Kibum continues and Jonghyun wishes he didn’t. He knows exactly where this is going and it’s breaking his heart. “And I know you’re having a hard time without your Mister. I am so sorry for everything you’ve been through. _But_ , you have no idea what it is to be _free_ for the first time in five hundred years. Better no Mister than Mister like mine, you know,” Kibum laughs and Jonghyun’s stomach drops at how strangled and humourless it sounds.

“Bum—“ Minho whispers from the back, his hand coming onto Kibum’s shoulder, squeezing it gently.

“It’s okay, Minnie. I’ve had enough alone time,” Kibum says and pulls his legs to himself. He breathes in shakily and abruptly stops the sad song playing on the radio, switching to the next one. But this is Jonghyun’s playlist and the next one is just as sad, and so is the one after that.

Kibum scoffs after a while when he settles on a slow r’n’b piece. “I’ve ditched paradise because I’ve missed you.”

 

…

 

They ride the rest of the way in silence that is broken only by Jonghyun’s playlist – Kibum skips one too many songs.

By the time they make it on the driveway leading to Jinki’s mansion, Jonghyun breathes a sigh of relief. He’s tired, his eyes are burning (with unshed tears), and all he wants to do is curl up and sleep for five more years. He hadn’t stopped mentally beating himself over screwing up so badly. All he wanted to do was hold Kibum’s hand and maybe steal a kiss or two. Now all he is gonna get is a cold shoulder and more sympathetic looks from his friends than he can handle. He’s so pathetic, so so pathetic.

He stops the car in front of the large house. It’s built in the traditional style, it may be fairly old, but definitely not older than Jinki or Kibum. It’s hidden in the woods that open from one side to a small clearing and to the beach and ocean from the next. Closest neighbours, Sunyoung and her friends, are more than half an hour away.

Jonghyun isn’t big on this countryside lifestyle, has never been, but he has to admit that Jinki knows how to live it big.

They have been coming to this house, an heirloom after Jinki’s Mister, for years. Every second weekend in August, and the following week, they gathered to watch the meteor showers together. Only Jinki and Kibum at first, in times when they thought they were closer to each other than two sides of the same coin. Even after breaking up they remained close enough, Minho and Taemin becoming welcomed addition in the following years and completing their little group of four. After Minho and Kibum took Jonghyun under their wings few years ago, it was only natural that he would join them, too.

To Kibum, the times at Jinki’s mansion meant necessary getaway from his Mister in Seoul, to the others it was important part of their social lives because more often than not other vampires would tag along. Old vampires, young vampires, rich and poor, the only touchstone was being a decent vamp since Jinki chose very carefully whom he would associate with.

To Jonghyun, the four of the other vamps meant the entire world. He knows he just wouldn’t be here without them. Not after that guy he refused to call his Mister turned him instead of killing him only to kick him away like a piece of trash. It was Kibum’s gentle hands that lead him out of the darkness and ironically so, saved his life. His embrace was a safe haven in a world where he had lost everything. So he realizes the least he could do was to be understanding when Kibum needed a time away.

“Guyyyyy~s!” loud voice sounds through the night and a figure comes rushing towards them as the front door fall open.

Jinki is in a great mood, as always, but he can instantly sense that something is off about his mates. He doesn’t push it. He helps them with their bags, instead, and ushers them inside. The sooner they eat and drink, the better.

Once they are inside the house, Taemin comes to greet them too. He’s cut his auburn hair short and dyed them lilac. It’s so pretty Jonghyun wants to touch it, to feel whether they are as soft as they look.

“Taeminnie,” Kibum calls out and ruffles the colourful mop on the younger vampire’s head. “You look stunning, babe,” he says and for now it seems that all tension is forgotten.

They eat steak, it doesn’t matter it’s close to midnight. They drink wine and blood and before they know it, Jinki has them all sprawled on all the comfortable surfaces in his big cosy living room, where he’s kneeling in front of the fireplace as he sets it on.

“I can’t believe we’re really using this. Coldest summer since 1929, guys,” he mutters and grins triumphantly when the wood finally catches on fire. “Jjong wasn’t even born yet, then,” he adds and looks the youngest vamp and then at them all. He can tell the three of them are tired from the journey. He also knows that Jonghyun has spent most of the past few weeks hidden away in his flat, moping. He can tell from how he’s so pale, paler than usually, and from those hollowed cheeks and circles under his eyes. He doesn’t have to be certain fictional detective to put two and two together. But it’s not his business. If they want to talk about it, they will. They always do.

He looks over to Kibum. His face is less relaxed than he’d expected it to be. Tensed, if you will, and pensive. Maybe he wasn’t away long enough, maybe too long. Either way, Jink is glad to have him back. Although if it was up to him, he would let him go for a longer time. Five years was nothing for their kind. But Kibum had said it himself, he came back early because he missed them.

When the fire is set, he offers them some late night snacks and last glass of wine. Just to sleep well. They prepared their rooms with Taemin earlier, to each their own, although they did have a little bet going on with Taemin that at least one of the rooms would remain empty eventually.

Jonghyun is the first to excuse himself. The wine was more than enough to him and he feels so tired after the long way and all the stress and stirred feelings. The bed is calling to him, and he dozes off as soon as his head hits the pillow.

 

…

 

_The ground opens up and swallows him and the fall rips his soul out of his body. He screams in pain but no sound comes out. So he screams silently until he’s cut off by someone else’s laugh, the sound is steel cold and hollow. It comes from a tall figure that looks like the one who’s changed him… except that it’s not. It’s his father and he’s not laughing at all. He opens up his mouth to yell at him and Jonghyun wants to instinctively cower and shield himself from oncoming hit but he can’t move. Paralysis is keeping his body hostage and at mercy of his father’s wrath. He tries to scream again and this time he finds his voice, so he screams and screams so loudly that it rips him in half—_

 

_…_

 

Jonghyun sits up abruptly, the dream leaving him breathless. With his palms he wipes angrily at the tears gathered at the corners of his eyes. Even in death he cannot escape all these fears.

Quiet knock startles him and he looks up to see Kibum standing in the doorway. His hair is dishevelled and he looks so sleepy, _so_ _human_ , in that moment Jonghyun wants to cling to him for warmth but then he remembers, and his heart sinks.

“Bad dream?” Kibum asks quietly as he approaches the bed and sits on the edge.

“Yeah,” Jonghyun says, moving a little to the side.

“Want to talk about it?”

Jonghyun thinks. Does he want to talk about it? Is there anything to talk about even? He shrugs.

“Can you just stay here for a while?” he asks in the end and pats the bed next to him. “I’m really sorry about the afternoon. I didn’t mean it.”

Ghost of a smile tugs on Kibum‘s lips as he scoots further on the bed and rests against the headboard.

“It’s okay, Jonghyun. I meant it, though. I’ve missed you so badly,” he whispers and kisses Jonghyun in his hair, taking a deep whiff of his scent.

Jonghyun would swear that in that moment, warmth spreads through his entire body for the first time since he’s been turned. He feels like crying but isn’t this a happy occasion?

“You should get some sleep,” Kibum whispers again and Jonghyun is pretty sure the other is using mind power on him because his eyelids are suddenly so heavy he cannot keep his eyes open anymore. He can’t talk either, words just not forming, mind foggy, so he doesn’t fight it, just holds onto Kibum and lets the sleep claim him.

 

…

 

The morning feels like one of those fresh, sunny mornings after a storm. The air is crisp and clear and there is chatter coming from the large kitchen.

It’s almost noon when Jonghyun peeks inside. Taemin is sitting on the counter, his heels clad cotton socks kicking into the cabinet he’s sitting on. At the kitchen island, Kibum is dicing pile of tomatoes.

“Home-made spaghetti, how’s that sound,” he says instead of a good morning. He exchanges look with Taemin and Jonghyun thinks that’s one evil twinkle, he sees in their eyes. He’s pretty sure they are up to something, but then again when are they not?

“Can I get a coffee first,” he croaks and slumps in a chair by the huge dining table like the horrible morning person he is.

Kibum lifts his tomato-bloodied hands in the air and shakes his head. Taemin rolls his eyes and takes a pity on him, taking to prepare a cup of hot, black coffee and a piece of sweet red-beans-paste bread.

“It’s not healthy to drink the coffee alone,” he says as he places it all in front of Jonghyun. “It doesn’t matter you’re technically dead. You don’t have to fuck up your stomach first thing in the morning.”

“It’s not even morning,” Minho scoffs as he appears in the door, making a bee-line for the fridge.

“Go for a run or something,” Jonghyun grumbles and takes a bite of the sweet bread because Taemin is still hovering above him and probably won’t leave him alone until he eats.

“Been there, done that,” Minho beams and takes a seat opposite of Jonghyun and pours himself a large glass of orange juice.

Jonghyun makes a face at that. Even before turning, he hated orange juice, but now just the smell of it leaves bitter taste in his mouth.

“That thing doesn’t go anywhere near my vodka,” Kibum says off-headedly from where he’s still cutting the tomatoes and Jonghyun grins. He always knew they were meant to be.

“That’s discrimination, Kibum. How is tomato juice any better than orange?” Minho says, mock-offended.

“The vodka makes it all taste like shit anyway,” Taemin shrugs, and _now_ they’re both offended. He flashes them his “mission accomplished” smile, baring his fangs a little. “Come on, Jjong, I have business with you, save me from these monsters,” he says and pokes Jonghyun in the middle of his back to make him swallow the coffee faster.

Jonghyun complies and stands up, leaving the last piece of bread on the plate.

“For later,” he gives Taemin his best puppy eyes when the purple haired vamp frowns at him.

 

…

 

He lets Taemin guide him in the upper floor, through dark hallway and into one of the bedrooms. It’s Jinki’s, he notices and bites on his lip nervously.

“It’s okay,” Taemin tells him, sensing his hesitation. He leads him accross the thick-carpeted space as if he owns it here and Jonghyun realizes that he actually does. His eyes wander to the king-sized bed and the numerous pillows and thick covers. He falters in his step when he recognizes one of the lumps as the eldest vampire.

Taemin snorts quietly and links his fingers with Jonghyun’s, tugging on his hand softly. “It’s okay,” he repeats. “He won’t wake up for few more hours.”

“And you all nag at me for waking up late,” he whispers back.

Taemin just giggles some more and brings him further into the room and out into a spacious marble bathroom hidden beyond ordinary wooden door.

“Wow,” he breathes when Taemin quietly closes the door behind them. “I thought my room was top notch.”

“Shush, of course Jinki only wants the best for me,” Taemin says cheekily.

“Of course,” Jonghyun scoffs. He looks around and suddenly feels a little out of place. He curls his toes into the carpet. “So what now? Shall we take bath?” he asks because he really has no idea what could Taemin want with him now and here.

“If you want,” Taemin shrugs as he searches one of the cabinets. “But first,” he turns around swiftly and hides something behind his back. He approaches Jonghyun and Jonghyun subconsciously takes one step back. He doesn’t like the twinkle in Taemin’s eyes. At all.

Taemin smiles sweetly at him and shows him what’s been behind his back.

It’s a hair-dye.

“It’s a hair dye,” Jonghyun says dryly because really? “ _Really_?”

“Come on, Jjongie—“ Taemin says and doesn’t even bother to keep the whine out of his voice. “Jinki wouldn’t let me try on him. Please, don’t let me down. I would try it out myself but I am still fond of this lilac very much,” Taemin pouts.

“I don’t know Minnie, I like the blond. I have emotional attachment to it, too, you know,” Jonghyun says and touches his undercut, the buzz-cut still pleasantly short under his fingers.

He’s dyed his hair this unnatural shade of silvery blond back when Kibum left and it’s pretty much the only thing he’s been maintaining consistently since then.

Taemin pouts and tilts his head a little. He knows Jonghyun’s answer before he even pulls his ace.

“It’s _pink_ , Jonghyun,” he says lowly and grins all teeth and fangs when Jonghyun’s face lights up in million-watt smile.

 

…

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

That is Jinki walking in on them as Jonghyun sits on the bath tub, eyes closed, blissed out smile on his face, because Taemin is just that good at massages. So he loves having his hair played with, sue him. Taemin tugs at his hair playfully as he lifts innocent face towards Jinki.

“ _It’s pink_ ,” they both say as if it explains anything.

Jinki snorts and touches the soft pink mess of Jonghyun’s head. “What did he threaten you with?” he asks, concern in his voice.

“He did it willingly,” Taemin says as runs fingers through his masterpiece.

Jonghyun shivers and hums in appreciation, his eyes falling shut at the touch again.

“Did he just—“ Jinki starts and looks at Jonghyun incredulously.

“Have you ever, in your eight hundred years, seen a purring vampire, hyung?” Taemin asks and scratches behind Jonghyun’s ear.

Jinki doubles over in laughter and Taemin shakes with giggles until he explodes into a laughing fit so loud it sounds like he’s crying.

Jonghyn doesn’t mind them. He is too content to be anything but happy. He loves the pink, he really does. He reaches out to touch it, and standing in front of the mirror he really, really wishes he could see his reflection for once.

Jinki ruffles his hair. “It looks really cute, Hyunnie,” he says and shoos them out of the bathroom.

Jonghyun smiles quiet “Thanks” at him and at Taemin next. Maybe this whole trip won’t be such a disaster after all, he thinks as they walk out of Jinki’s room hand in hand again.

 

…

 

The thing with vampires and alcohol is that – just like with vampires and mirrors – it does not work. Or at least not the way it does with humans.

Kibum can drink nothing but Bloody Mary all evening and he will not get over the top of tipsy. So much money went into so many boring _sober_ evenings until he’s finally mastered the art of getting _almost drunk_. So at least he would treat himself for some tasty drinks if that was all the enjoyment he had in it all.

Yet then, if there is one thing vampires have in common with human, it’s that everyone is different. So there’s Kibum, Jinki and Minho who can all drink their weight in booze and come out of it unscathed, and then there are those who would most likely get poisoned with just one sip although that does not stop them from trying; the light-weights. Taemin and Jonghyun.

Jonghyun is wearing his favourite white shirt with frillies. Kibum knows that and tries to keep all the tomato juice and red wine in safe distance from him, to which Jonghyun pouts because if Kibum can drink he can too and he can and he _will_ get his own bloody Bloody Mary.

“Fine, whatever, I’m not your baby-sitter,” Kibum gives up in the end and bites his lip when Jonghyun fills his glass up to the brim.

He giggles. He doesn’t know why but the glass makes him happy. He did such a great job at pouring it. Finally, he was able to shake all the melancholy off and he would swear he feels the blood flowing in his veins. After such a long time he feels so good and when he runs hand through his hair, they are so soft and smell nice and that makes him happy, too. Everything is great and the thought that he must ask Jinki later where he gets these blood packs because it’s some very good shit crosses his mind briefly, before it fades away with some joke Minho cracked.

Jinki is playing the best of his vinyl collection, some dadrock, as Taemin calls it but dances to it anyway. He would be dancing to _hyang-ak_ by now. Jinki laughs a mellow delightful sound, as he’s half sitting, half lying in Minho’s lap, watching Taemin getting it on.

At some point later, the lilac haired vamp tugs on Jonghyun’s sleeve, making him spill some of his drink. It’s with all his luck that it doesn’t end up on his shirt but on the wooden floor instead. The mess is worth the dance for two that follows. Finally after all those fast and mid-tempo songs a ballad starts playing and the two of them sway lazily, Jonghyun leaning his full weight on Taemin. It feels very nice.

“What are you doing getting so drunk, Jjong?” Taemin mumbles into his ear when he guides them out of anyone’s earshot.

“What?” Jonghyun asks with a little effort and leans more against Taemin, breathing in his scent.

“Come on, we’ve talked about this. You two need to sort it out, the sooner the better,” Taemin says, suddenly sounding way too sober and way too rational for Jonghyun’s liking.

Jonghyun purses his lips, hiding his face in the crook of Taemin’s neck.

“Can’t. What if I upset him again,” he mumbles into the cold smooth skin.

“You’re upsetting him more by keeping quiet about it,” Taemin hisses and turns them around swiftly, steadying Jonghyun by his waist when he’s about to stumble into a table.

What Jonghyun sees makes him stop dead in his tracks. The other vampire is looking at him so intently he has to look away for a moment. There is no mind power, he thinks, but something in the look makes him leave Taemin’s side. It draws him to Kibum like a magnetic force, except that he is scared, so so scared of blowing this up again.

“You okay there, Kibummie?” he asks when he reaches him. It seems the world has shrunk and suddenly it’s just the two of them and that’s completely fine by him.

He looks at Kibum through that mild alcoholic haze and somehow it makes him notice the slightest details of his face. The depth of his gaze might give away the centuries that lie between them but just like everything else about him, it’s perfect. And like the first time he laid his eyes on him, Jonghyun is in awe of his beauty. He reaches out slowly to touch the bow of lips, cautiously as if scared that Kibum will brush his hand away.

“You’re wasted,” Kibum states but does not move when Jonghyun’s fingers graze across his face. “What were you talking about with Taemin?”

Jonghyun gulps and the world spins. What, indeed.

 

…

 

Alcohol and vampires, that does not and will not work. Jonghyun is reminded of that in the most painful of ways the moment he opens his eyes. It’s still night, or night again, he isn’t sure. He’s not in his bed. And he’s not alone. He’s confused.

“Bum?” he calls out and tries to adjust his eyes to the darkness of the room.

His head throbs and he whines, misery personified.

“Here, some fresh blood. It’ll help with the poisoning,” Kibum says and hands him one of the small packages that Jonghyun so gratefully takes from him as he pulls himself up.

Once again he is filled with guilt and regrets, mostly because he is not sure what followed his dance with Taemin. What if he said something awful again? What if he said something that he should have kept hidden?

“I’m sorry,” he says, just in case.

However, much to his relief, Kibum chuckles.

“You were kind of cute, actually. Annoyingly so, but cute.”

“I’m glad you find my embarrassment cute,” Jonghyun grumbles as he sips on the blood. At least the headache slowly fades away with each sip. He still feels horrible even without the added pain.

“Should I ask what are these?” he asks when he finishes the blood, glad there’s a chance to change the subject.

By “ _these_ ” he means two silk, hot pink ribbons tied to each of his wrists. They are obviously from the part of the evening he does not remember but he kind of recognizes it as something he would come up with when spurred on by someone.

Kibum chuckles again.

“Taemin,” is all he says and it explains quite a lot.

Still, Jonghyun needs more answers as he has no recollections of what lead up to this very moment. He lies back on his side and hugs the big pillow to have something to do with himself.

“Did-did he say anything?” he asks after a beat of moment.

Kibum looks at him with that deep gaze again. Or perhaps it’s slight exasperation.

“He said plenty, Jjong.”

“He did?”

“And you did, too,” Kibum says.

“Oh,” Jonghyun blinks, his mind instantly filling with ten thousand and one worst case scenarios. “You know, whatever I said, it wasn’t what I wanted to say… I mean, it probably was, truth’s in the wine, right, ha ha, but it’s not like how I had it planned this way, you know,” Jonghyun rambles.

Kibum sighs. “Jonghyun, it’s okay, really. Whatever you wanted to say, you can tell me now, or later, I don’t mind. Just… don’t leave me hanging. I don’t know how I can make myself any clearer to you,” Kibum trails off and catches one of Jonghyun’s wrists just like he did back then on the ferry. “Do you think I would really cut my alone time short if I didn’t want to see you?” he asks, fingers playing with the ribbon.

“No,” Jonghyun breathes out. He knows very well what that trip, that spark of freedom, meant to Kibum. Maybe that’s why he’s too scared to hope.

“It’s okay, Jonghyun. You can’t do wrong in my eyes, can’t you see? I’m trying my best to be affirming here, you know. But you still run around in circles. And as I said, it’s kind of cute, really. You remind me of myself when I was your age,” Kibum chuckles again and lies down as well to face the other.

“If it’s like this, why did you let me run for so long,” Jonghyun asks quietly.

Kibum doesn’t reply. Instead, he brings the ribbon, and the wrist it’s tied to, to his lips. He blows on it gently and Jonghyun’s breath hitches when he places kiss just where the skin meets the silk. Kibum’s fangs graze the delicate skin and he presses ever so lightly, careful not to bite. He sighs deeply, feeling the scent of Jonghyun’s blood where he can’t feel his pulse anymore.

“Kibum,” Jonghyun whispers as a full on shudder wracks his entire body.

“I came back because,” Kibum says and slowly moves above Jongyhun, “no matter where I went, no matter whom I met, I couldn’t stop thinking about certain young vamp.” He brings Jonghyun’s hands up and holds them above his head by the ribbon clad wrists.

“What a lucky vamp, huh,” Jonghyun whispers again, not trusting his voice.

Kibum hums lowly in his ear. “Very lucky.”

Jonghyun is sure something – the tectonic desks maybe or the universe itself – moves and aligns the moment they kiss. It feels so right. But then Kibum’s hand is on his side, pushing his shirt away and exposing his skin and the ground opens up and swallows him whole, envelops him in warmth that shouldn’t exist between two vampires. Kibum breaks the kiss and twines their fingers. With his free hand he brushes the pink hair out of Jonghyun’s face. He looks at him with that deep, serious gaze again. Jonghyun wonders what he sees when he looks at him like that but then Kibum moves just minutely and Jonghyun catches his own reflection in the other’s dark eyes.

He startles and stills for a second because that is _not_ possible; but then the spell is gone and he’s looking back into the black abysses of Kibum’s eyes and the moonlight refelcting there might be just playing tricks on him. It’s full moon, after all.

Kibum laughs at something in his expression and kisses him again, kisses the wonder away, until it makes Jonghyun believe that yes, it _is_ possible.

 

…

 

It’s way past noon when they wake up, Jonghyun atypically first.

For a moment, right before he opens his eyes, he’s scared that everything from the previous night has been but an alcohol induced dream, a wishful thinking at best, and his heart sinks. But then there’s the scent of Kibum everywhere around him, _on_ _him_ , and it makes him open his eyes finally.

Still lying on his stomach, he wiggles around a little so that he’s facing Kibum and smiles – at the sleeping vampire first and into his pillow next – when he remembers all the details from the previous night. Not the drunken part of it, that is still in haze, but rather what followed.

He blushes in that vampiric “I can’t really blush but hey I am still blushing” sort of way when he lifts his head and sees the pink ribbons tied to the head of the bed instead of his own wrists. He’s really going to have to thank Taemin for that one.

Next thing he knows is a weight pressing him down into the mattress and he blushes some more.

“Morning, babe,” Kibum’s voice, low with sleep, rasps into his ear and he shudders when he feels a kiss being pressed into his shoulder.

He hums into the pillow, glad that the older vampire cannot see his face. He can probably sense all the happiness rolling off of him in waves anyway.

“Ah!” he yelps next because that was definitely teeth squeezing the skin on his neck what he felt and he squirms away from the bruising teeth as he tries to move from under Kibum.

“I’m hungry,” Kibum says and looks at him almost innocently when Jonghyun manages to roll around on his back under him. “But I don’t want to get up just yet.”

Their faces are so close, Jonghyun looks at him still a little in awe. And then he does the first thing that comes to his mind. He pecks Kibum’s nose and giggles at the other vampire’s surprised expression.

“We could call Taemin over to bring us breakfast,” he says and Kibum chuckles.

“Brilliant idea. I am not leaving this bed today and I am not letting you either.”

Just as the words leave his mouth, there is a soft knock on the door and Minho’s deep voice is calling them.

“Hey guys, you _alive_ in there? I don’t wanna disturb sleeping love-birds but we have visitors and one of them is kindly asking your presence in the kitchen.”

Kibum exchanges looks with Jonghyun and shakes his head. “We are not here,” he whispers and pecks him softly on his cheek. Minho is insistent, however.

“Um, I really don’t want to interrupt whatever you two are doing right now but I guess you would like to know that Sunyoung insists on the chicken breasts with orange sauce—“

Kibum grumbles and shakes his head again but pushes himself up and away from Jonghyun.

“No, don’t go,” Jonghyun whispers and catches his wrist before he can make a step away from the bed.

Kibum looks at him and then at the door. He brushes Jonghyun’s palm before letting go of his hand entirely in favour of walking towards the door. Jonghyun sighs for being overthrown by chicken breasts. He knows it’s immature to feel so disappointed and if the girls are already there, they should perhaps go down and greet them but still, he doesn’t want this morning to end—

He looks up when he hears the sound of the key turn and the lock fall shut.

Kibum is walking back to him, smiling smugly as he dives back into the sea of covers. He wraps his arms around Jonghyun and burrows his face in the pink of his hair for a brief moment.

“We are not here,” he repeats his previous statement and finds Jonghyun’s lips to kiss the pout away from them.

 

…

 

By the time the sun begins to set, they finally decide it might be quite polite of them to actually leave the confines of their bedroom and go greet the guests.

When they enter the living-room hand in hand, they find them all sprawled across the two leather sofas and several arm-chairs. Fire is crackling in the fireplace, everything is lazy and no-one pays them no mind at first.

Soojung is chatting with Minho about some photography course that she’s attended last year. Sunyoung is sitting in Amber’s lap, whispering something private into their ear. Jinki is showing Vic his 1800’s scrapbooks while Taemin is looking at it over his shoulder. He seems distracted, though, as he’s running his fingers through Jinki’s hair absent-mindedly.

It’s him who notices them first. He stops his hand weaved in Jinki’s locks and gives them the brightest smile when he sees one pink ribbon – _his idea_ , ladies and gents – tied to each of their wrists. The eldest vampire looks up from the scrapbook in his hands and watches them thoughtfully.

“I take it that you found what you’ve been looking for, Kibummie?” he asks cryptically.

Kibum’s grasp on Jonghyun’s hand tightens and he shrugs slightly.

“Nice to see you, too, guys,” Amber chimes, their eyes twinkling teasingly.

The moment lingers and Jonghyun rubs the back of his neck self-consciously. He feels so exposed in the company of the older vampires. He knows he’s an amusement to them. But then again, these are the vamps that always came to check on him when he would get stuck in one of his slumps, the ones who watched over him when Kibum was away, brought him food and paid his bills for him when he’s forgotten to do so himself.

“How about we rather check how far you are with the preparations?” Kibum shots back with a smile too wide to be anything but fake.

Amber opens their mouth to retort something but Taemin beats them to it.

“Great idea, actually,” he says and gets up, patting Jonghyun’s shoulder as he passes by him.

“Right, let’s go,” Jinki joins him instantly and the rest of the vamps follow up.

They stop in the kitchen, everyone busying their hands with foods and drinks for the evening and then head right outside.

It’s the last minutes before sunset, the woods around the house are quiet and somehow it makes their voices carry over even louder than usual. It’s been a long time since they could meet like this and all of them are excited for the night.

The bonfire is almost set and ready – Jinki and Minho did a great job at it as always – all that is left is the igniting spark. Torches are lighting up the way that leads out of the porch and onto the little clearing from where they will be able to see the stars well. Makeshift blanket fort is prepared there for added comfort as well as miniature wooden table for all their food in the middle of the seating.

Taemin is the first one to reach there and he headlong dives into the nest with a laugh. Minho drapes all over him next, like a blanket of sorts, all legs and arms. They both giggle and make space for the others when the girls reach them and Soojung nudges them with her foot.

The air is gentle and warm, a little colder than in the previous years but they are vampires, cold cannot harm them and nor can the sun. Yet, after setting the food aside, Jonghyun grabs an extra blanket for himself before settling by Kibum’s side with a huff.

When they all are snuggled up and comfortable, Jinki holds out his drink to pronounce a toast.

“I’ve been cursed… _blessed_ … with a life longer than most. And you know just as well as I do that the road isn’t always nice and straight. When I was young, I spent a lot of my days asking myself what the meaning of my own life was. Seemingly immortal but with no powers that would justify my endless existence, it seemed like a waste—“

Jonghyun tenses up at that. He’s sure this one is directed at him. He finds Kibum’s hand and squeezes it, bracing himself as he already feels the tears prickle in his eyes.

“—watching my family, my _human_ family, leave my side one by one, that too added to the things that led me into a very dark place. I wanted to give up, I felt like I was done wrong by the one who’s turned me and the worst part was that I wanted others to suffer like I did. I will not bother you with my entire history, you all know dozen of those stories already and this is a happy occasion. What I want you to know, however, is this: your existence is never a waste. You don’t need to justify it either. It’s also natural to feel humbled, terrified, even, by the idea of forever, eternity, never-ending story, you name it.

I am blessed by having a lot like you in my life. The fact that this is, with few exceptions, the ninetieth year we were able to gather like this fills my heart with gratitude. Some of you have been with me for so long that you truly are like a family to me. And it fills me with awe that this is what I got in return for abandoning that dark path I once was on. The choice is always ours. So here’s to choosing wisely.”

Jinki pauses and holds up his cup.

“To eternity, to friends, and,” he looks at Taemin softly, “to family.”

“To family,” an echo of voices repeats into the young night.

 

…

 

“Hey, there is another one!” Minho exclaims from where he’s lying on his back and watching the night sky above them.

“Where where,” Taemin snaps his head up so fast Jonghyun is worried he might snap his neck as well.

He’s sitting in Kibum’s lap, head leaning back so he can see it too, and sure enough, among the countless of flickering little stars, there is one that is more like a strip, a slash of silver across the dark sky. It’s out of this world beautiful. He holds his breath and feels Kibum’s hands squeeze around his waist.

“Wish for something!” Vic says and for a moment, all of them fall silent.

To Jonghyun, it feels as if the time has stopped. They are sitting at the edge of the world with the sky revolving around them. It’s distant and slow and for once, he doesn’t feel threatened by the thoughts of eternity. The star is falling through a sea of her static sisters and somehow, Jonghyun relates to it. Except now he has someone to catch him in his fall.

Kibum noses his cheek and he turns his head so he can find his lips. They taste like tomatoes and alcohol and he scrunches his nose. There are still so many tastes and scents he has yet to associate with the other vampire. It’s kind of exciting, really. Maybe the next time Kibum sets on a journey, he will take him with himself. Or maybe not. Maybe he will send postcards of all the places he’ll visit and Jonghyun will stick them to the refrigerator door and they will have those long phone calls about nothing and everything. Kibum will talk about the people he has met and Jonghyun will tell him a story about how he’s tried to make veggie-lasagna and failed.

But he will never feel so crushingly lonely again.

Minho will drop by with four large pizzas to binge watch old shows with him, and he will have all those silly commentaries about how the characters are so underdeveloped and together they will make up their own plots. Amber will come over together with Sunyoung and Soojung and they will help him clean the flat when it gets too messy to deal with. The will pull apart the black drapes the same way Kibum always does when he comes over and they will open the windows to let in some fresh air. Or they won’t, maybe they will just chill with him on his black leather couch and drink wine with him, and they’ll light some candles and listen to old records and it will be laid-back and peaceful. Taemin will then bring Jinki along and maybe Jonghyun will open up to them about all those things he’s kept burried so deep for so long. They know most of it already anyway, of course they do, but sometimes it just feels good to share the load with someone else. Because that’s what family is for.

 “Did you wish something?” Kibum asks quietly as the star passes and fades away.

Jonghyun smiles and melts into Kibum’s hug. “I didn’t. My wish came true already.”

 

 

 

Fin.

 


End file.
